Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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