and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Come share oat with me in your robe
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
