I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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