She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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