How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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