when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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