Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
