Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Randomize
