that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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