like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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