If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
