he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize