It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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