do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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