Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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