I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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