Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
