youre lurking in front of me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
