Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
