So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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