i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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