This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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