I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
