Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Panties = found
Randomize
