I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I could make wine with my vomit
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
