K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
