i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
