Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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