im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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