is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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