I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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