glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
