Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
