bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
