i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
