She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
