bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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