Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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