One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
my liver is dry heaving
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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