Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.

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(518): View more from New York

As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.

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(214): View more from Texas

You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.

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(970): View more from Colorado

We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later

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(949): View more from California

We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.

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(647): View more from Ontario

She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"

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