things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
