she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
FUCK WHALES
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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