New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
