I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
