He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
