is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
