Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
