ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
