bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
