The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
