Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
