So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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