I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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