so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize