wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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