i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
