When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize