i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
PANTIES FOUND
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