I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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