Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
