I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
