my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
