You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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