I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
