i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
